Am I in a frozen World?

30.11.05

2 ricewaffels, 4 light drop sweets, 1 breadje with cheese and ham, 2 breads one with ham and one with chorico, soy, 2 kitkats and 2 bits of chocolate with caramel owh yeh and a bowl of kornflaks.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/30/2005

29.11.05

1 ricewaffels, 2 pepernoten little cookies :X, a bowl of cornflaks, a apple and a hawaii pizza :X(fuck without the pizza it would be perfect)

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/29/2005

28.11.05

2 mandarines, 3 ricewaffels, 1 apple with canele, 1 cornflakes bowl... hmmm.... 2 cookies... and lots of tea, a 1 egg omelet with chicken and 3 spons of rice and a bit of vanilla/rum icecream... 7 little pepernuten(??) cookies.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/28/2005

27.11.05

today i ate 3 ricewaffels, 4 little breads with ham and diet butter, a place of mini pancaques with a sliced banana, a mandarine and a vanilla desert. plus a apple pie piece (the last \o/)

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/27/2005

26.11.05

HEY people! :D Just came back from A'dam :D I heart big cities. I had one of the most tiring days ever, walking around like a crazy... just like the normal days at portugal. I noticed that in A'dam my appetite decrease like HELL and I felt like eating nothing all the time. I love to walk, to walk and to walk and I wore my plataforms today soo I suffered all the damages of walking you may have, my feet hurt a bit :X i'm not used to walking this much anymore. Damn bikes. I caught the buss from dronten to lelystad with Ruben, Wesley and Erik... some ãh... friends of mine :X then we caught the train and then we went to "shop". I say "shop" because I was trying not to buy anything... and suprisingly i almost did it! Around 16h we went to pick up Fred and then we went to the movies (which rocked! I LOVE corpse bride) and then to the American Book Store where i bought the one thing... THE only non eatable thing I bought the whole day.. actually the book is eatable just... dont think it will taste well. :D I had a wonderfull day and besides tired I'm also happy :D

btw it snowed. I ate 2 cheese and ham croissant, bread with ham, cheese and tomato, 1 ricewaffel, 1 mandarine, 1 sundae caramel and drank 2 thingys of soy and a coca cola (also sniffed it) ... owh yeh and also ate a apple pie piece

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/26/2005

20.11.05

I dress up all pretty forgetting you can't see me by the phone and then I refuse to call you.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/20/2005

What do I want?

If someday I dared to dream about a person I forgot the face and the name.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/20/2005

18.11.05

Eu quero perder.te como um bocado de mim.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/18/2005

12.11.05

For love that remains and will never go away. DARLING.

If love was to stop whenever you stopped talking with me I would be here today and everyday with a smile, yet it doesn't. Darling I've cried for you. In this last year and something - in my new life - I've learned what love is, that it does exist... but not for me. You have it, everyone has it but I was never worthy. As in those nobels I joke so much about I also came and travelled for you. For you I did alot. Darling it has been almost half an year since I lastly felt happy for seeing your nickname. I know you won't talk with me, you are as not worthy as I am but you have it. In the nobels they try to forget - I tried to forget - now I realize how useless it was and a laugh for making a fool out of myself. All this makes me a fool. Only fools fall in love this way. But Darling I love you. One day I dreamed I was your fool only after to awake and cry again - for me. I'm selfish, I am childish, I am arrogante and I'm annoying but I'm all I have and I want to give it all to you. I'm sorry you won't came to even turn it away. Soo you, Darling, are not worthy.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/12/2005

8.11.05

A vontade das impressões digitais!

O mais importante na vida de uma pessoa não é o que ela é nem o que ela faz mas o que ela quer. Quando alguem não sabe o que quer esse alguem perde.se sem vontade de fazer ou de ser até algo o fazer querer denovo. Quando um alguem quer demasiado ... eu não sei porque eu nunca conheci esse alguem. Eu só me conheço a mim, e mesmo assim, somos conhecidos distantes. Sei que eu quero algo mas não faço ideia o que e por isso sinto que não quero nada. Dentro de mim sinto vontade de adormecer e ser levada pela corrente, sem lutar, mas suspeito que isso se deve a não ter dormido a noite passada. É verdade, estou cansada da vida e da luta, estou cansada e estou sozinha e estou perto de desistir. É impossivel ser-se unica e original e por mais que se tente vai-se sempre ser igual. Todas as palavras já foram usadas e todas as arvores já foram desenhadas, todos os pores do sol fotografados e a unica coisa que me garantem que eu tenho de unica é a minha impressão digital. Há quem reinvidique a impressão digital, que não queira que seja unica porque os incrimina mas a mim só me ajuda, ajuda-me a acreditar que há a chance de ser unica, que sou unica, no meu modo, claro. Ser uma artista é dificil, mas querer se-lo é pior, exige mais. Não sei o que escrever nem o que desenhar, a minha vontade é por a musica tão alta que não oiça os meus pensamentos e deitar-me na cama.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/08/2005

6.11.05

Well... long time and no posts from me. hmmm isn't that strange? Taking in account the amount of time I've had free lately, yes it might seem strange but it is not. News are that recently (like some months ago) I discovered that I am a very social been, as a social been I need human interaction. A new comer (not soo new after almost 3 months) in a new land faces the hard act of making friends (which to me seemed not soo hard) and now I, the weird bookworm, geek and chatty, freak from the candys at the cinema, am resting from a week of vacations soo exausting I sleep all the time I can and I moan the rest of it. Next week, to finish in knocked out, it's testweek which means lots of study... LOL as if. :X

Nilaratowen froze in time on 11/06/2005