Am I in a frozen World?

20.3.05

A Fallen Angel II

When I was a child I used to get hipnotized by stories about magical creatures and magic and those who fascinized me most were angels. Ironicly I know every single caracteristic of angels. I know that they are not supposted to be alive, soo they are not supposted to bleed. I know they are supposted to be good people and not supposted to be agressive. I know they are supposted to be sex-less and not males. And finally I know they are supposted to be in heaven looking after us, and not in my home with me looking after them. Knowing that since I was a child I can't see why I call him an Angel at all. I know he cuts himself every two days, if not everyday, he doesnt even bother covering it anymore, because it's always MY job to clean his bloody clothes. The clothes. As a non-existant criature he can't go shopping, soo I asked my brother for these... My brother sure thinks I'm strange because I didnt tell him about my own angel, it is my secret and nobody most know.
My secret, how well does that sound? Soo innocent and gracefull, and even how responsable. "My secret". I do love my secret, in a sordid and uncommum way, soo to say.
Now i hear him crying. I walk down to him and he looks at me as i sit on the same sofa he is. "What happen? Why are you crying?", i ask trying to clean his tears, I'm always soo worried about him, i suprise myself. "Because", damning his answer i repeat it hopping for a final that never comes.

Nilaratowen froze in time on 3/20/2005

11.3.05

Fallen Angel

Everybody as seen the sad portaint, nobody as forgoten the broken wings nor the miserybut does anyone know the story behind these wonderfull paintings? Did the fallen angel stay? Did it's wings heal and it run away? Why did it fell, anyway?
There is this... magnificient angel, about whose dead I know nothing. I found it in the woods, during one of my walks. It, who turned out to be a He, feared me. Seeing his wounded wing and his broken arm, made me notice how dirty his white skin was, and how confused he should be. One thing really touched me his eyes, that is, were full of hate, such hae that pierced my soul with pity. Pity that made me accept my disbeliving. "I have a fallen angel in front of me", that's what i thought. Don't insult me for my lack of reaction, I know he was wounded and all, but still... IT IS A FALLEN ANGEL! It is like a talking star and when you see it, it starts screaming at you. You lose all instinct you've ever had and go blank trying to understand why is this start shooting at you.
That angel, now, is in my life and in my house. It's been a long timr since I brough him here, not that he is healled, angels have a very slow healling process but i think that in a few days he will be able to go "home". I say "home" because I have no idea about the place he comes from, and when I ask about it he always answers "home". So i decided not to push it more and promised to help him getting better.

(i started writting this text as a gift to someone, but it turns out that someone doesnt want anything i can give him, soooooooo i stopped the writting :P in fact, it's been a long time since i write... hmmmz too bad! (NOT) :P)

Nilaratowen froze in time on 3/11/2005